Cow Bio - Stupid.
I had a very hard time telling apart all my cows when I first got here. The yellow, brown, red, and blue ones I can for the most part differentiate. Naming them all won't happen. 200 is too many names.But the ones who are awesome enough to merit naming begin to develop personalities. So far the named beefs are: Red, Stupid, Snowball, Fat Joe, Chuck, Charles, Jack, Beardsly, Eric, and uh, Chocolate. All but Red are calves, and you already met Red. I don't hate her anymore. And all calves will be eaten. Cows with names just taste better.
The pictured calf is Stupid.
Stupid slipped on the slippery manure-wet concrete about a month ago. Down he (she? i dunno) went. Ever since then, he has been lounging in the old dry cow lot. He looks quite uncomfortable, what with one front leg stuck underneath. I am convinced that he's fully able to get on his feet, were he to actually try. But he gets personally fed and watered twice a day, so why try? He still doesn't like me and refuses to act like he enjoys me petting his head.
Little does stupid know, his rent-free life is about to be abruptly interrupted. One month is closing fast. It does us no go to feed a cow that won't walk.
Unless, of course, someone wants to sponsor the continuing life of this useless beef?
posted by Lord of the Barnyard at 5:38 PM
5 Comments:
If I sponsor Stupid, will he send me letters four times a year and a photograph of himself that I can post on my desk, so all of my co-workers will see how sensitive and compassionate I am?
Otherwise, no dice.
I'm sure stupid would be more then willing to pose for all sorts of photos. Stupid can't write... so that might be a problem.
I wonder if i could make a viable business out of this. Taking pictures of cows laying about and make up all sorts of crazy ailiments and ask people to keep them in comfort to salve thier hearts. Type a form letter every few months with a cute clever hoof-print at the bottom, ensuring that my cutomers keep their sick cute beastie in all the comfort it could want.
Seriously, you could make a killing. Just target campus PETA groups and vegan co-ops.
All cows look the same so we could even eat them and no one would know the difference.
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