Braincoians, Hope Me.
I need to write an ad for my beef. But I’ve been having problems kick starting my inner copywriter. That’s where all you graduates and drop outs come in handy.
My first problem is the problem all clients have. I want to say too much. I was thinking of running ads about the size of a City Pages quarter-page. I need to sell what is called "freezer beef." All the cuts you’d get from the butcher, but all of them at once. Most people have never bought beef this way. It needs to be explained in the ad. I don’t really think I want it to have too much concept, this ad will never ever appear in anyone’s book.
My second problem is the idea of grass-fed organic beef. There is absolutely nothing special about this beef. This is just beef as it has always been raised since we domesticated cattle, what, 10,000 years ago. The only reason it is better than everything else on the market is that in the last couple decades we started feeding our cows unhealthy shit like cow brains and keeping them penned up in standing room only feedlots. It’s not any innovative improvement on how beef is raised.
I’m having problems selling what appears to me to be something so stunningly obvious that it hardly needs saying. My only luck comes when I talk about how crap the feedlot process is, but that’s not a good way to sell quality beef.
Here’s my mom’s email she sends to people who request info:
We charge $1.75/# hanging weight for the meat (average comes to $260-300/ quarter depending on the individual critter) and have it processed at Dee Jay's Processing here in Fredericktown, OH. The cost is about $75-85 /qtr depending on how you have it done (888-DJS-MEAT or 740-694-7492). You tell the processor what type of cuts you want, how many to a package, how thick, etc. They walk you through it. These costs are competitive with grain-fed, non-organic, lord-knows-where-it-came-from meat. Our meat is very tasty and tender and lean (thus we think you get more actual meat for your dollar). If you want to place an order either e-mail or call us (740-397-4664) and we will put you on our list.
Here’s what my dad would want in an ad:
That the price is competitive with grain fed beasties.
That they are being raised on a farm which has been organic for over 25 years.
That they are 100% grassfed Angus which means the meat is incredibly lean.
and possibly, That they have more good proteins.
Here’s the poo I’ve excremented on a page so far:
local organic grass-fed Angus beef
sold by the quarter 1.75 per pound
Grass fed beef is different from grain fed. Most of the meat you will find out there is grain fed.
The reason we feed grass is that cows are ruminates, built to eat grass.
Grass fed is the alternative to feedlot beef.
beef raised the old-world way.
without pesticides.
without grain finishing
without overcrowding.
it’s not healthy to feed a cow grain. cows are ruminates, grass eaters.
when you feed grain, you don’t need to provide the land for them to forage on, why not keep them in the barn?
somewhere along the line of raising beef we Americans stopped thinking right. stopped feeding them the foods they needed. start
raised the way nature intended a cow to be raised. On open pasture land, under the sun, and without unnatural foods and chemicals.
ask a kid to draw a cow.
you get a black and white beastie with horns in a field.
cows eat grass. any five year old could tell you that.
most beef farmers today would tell you that a cow ain’t “finished” till it’s
but as farms became run more and more like factories, scaling up in size and eking out profit from every area, certain things were ignored.
Cows are designed to eat grass.
it is a very rare thing when humans improve on mother nature. feedlots to put grain into cows to fatten them up at the end of their life, is not one of those rare times.
we didn’t figure out how to do it better than mother nature.
10,000 years ago cows ate grass.
1,000 years ago cows ate grass.
40 years ago cows ate grass.
Most of the beef you can buy out there is now grain fed. The people responsible for selling this feedlot variety of beef will tell you that it’s fatty marbled-ness makes it taste better.
Living in a feedlot is not healthy.
Eating something your body isn’t designed to eat is not healthy.
If you ask a child to draw a cow he will put the cow in a pasture. Because that’s where cows go. Even he can tell you that a cow eats grass.
That we have to special-raise cows now to be “grass fed” is silly.
Grass fed beef is better than grain fed. Most meat out there is grain fed.
The reason we feed grass is simple, cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
It’s sad that our beef needs so many descriptors, but if your package just says ‘beef’ you can probably count on it being shipped, full of pesticides, and finished on grain.
Organic is natural. Nature has done a good enough job so far, we’ll let her keep going.
Cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
So we feed them grass. The cows are healthier and so is the meat.
Angus is tasty.
Angus is tasty. Grass-fed angus is tasty and healthy and happy. Organic grass fed angus is tasty and heathly and happy and safe.
organic most people know about. free from man made chemicals
Grass fed beef is different from grain fed. Most meat out there is grain fed.
The reason we feed grass is that cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
Grass fed isn’t new and different and trendy, it’s the old and natural way to raise beef. Grain fed is the “new and different” way to raise a cow, and now we’re beginning to see that it doesn’t work so well.
feedlots are stuffy and overcrowded.
pastures are wide and in the open air.
grain is digested too quickly, resulting in physical ailments and oversized fatty muscles.
grass is digested slowly, resulting in even growth, though slower.
grain fed meat is unhealthy to eat. that’s the red meat your doctor warned you about.
grass fed beef is entirely different. it’s lower in fat and calories. extra omega 3s.
grass fed beef does taste different.
it’s the differnece between a body bulider and a hard working man.
It’s sad, but a list of the reasons to eat grass fed beef is really a list of the reasons not to eat grain fed beef.
Grass fed beef are healthier. Grain fed beef have physical problems resulting from their diet. For example, they can have acid build up from digesting the grain too fast.
Grass fed beef are lower in stress. They live in their natural environment, the pasture. Grain fed beef don’t need to forage and so they are kept in feedlots.
Most all the reasons that exist for feed
A grass fed animal is happier. That may sound trite, but it’s true.
They are out running around in the fields rather than cooped up in a barn or feed lot. This does a lot for their psyche.
Natural
Nutritious
Safe
Healthy
Our cows are born and raised
on a generation-spanning family farm. a closed system which uses no pesticides and as little off-farm input as possible. Cows are ruminates, built to consume grass. Grass-fed cows are healthier while living and healthier for you.
Angus is the breed.
Cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
All cows are built to eat grasses.
Most beef cows are fed grain.
Cows that eat only grass will be healthier.
Compared with grass-fed meat, grain-fed meat contains more total fat, saturated fat, and calories.
Cows that spend their entire lives eating grasses are healthier than those whose diet has been switched to grains.
Here is my small-type explanation of how freezer beef works:
If you’ve never bought beef directly from the farmer, here’s how it works.
The minimum amount we sell is a quarter of a cow. You don’t get to choose which quarter, it’s an average quarter of the available meat on the animal. If you want a half or even a whole, that’s fine too. To hold a quarter of a beef you will need freezer space. The one attached to your refrigerator will not be enough. You will need…
You call us at 740 397 4664 and tell us what amount you’d like. When an entire cow is accounted for, we take the animal in to DeeJay’s to be processed. They weigh the animal. We bill you $1.75 per pound of hanging weight. The average is between $260 and $300 per quarter.
They call you to find out how you would like your meat cut (how thick your steaks, what cuts, etc.) They walk you through this part. They charge you for the cuts separate from what you pay us for the meat itself. The cost is about $80 per quarter, depending on what you have done. They will tell you when the processing will be complete.
You drive to Fredericktown to pick up your beef.
And here is the website explaining grassfed to the uninitiated:
Eat Wild
So there is your assignment from me. Send me an email. Reply in the comments. Make it funny. Make it serious. Make it sell. These ads will be running in the Columbus alt newsweekly, The Other Paper. If I use an idea someone else comes up with, all credit will be yours, and a steak will be brought when I come to visit Chi-town and Murderapolis, sometime in mid-May. Thanks.
My first problem is the problem all clients have. I want to say too much. I was thinking of running ads about the size of a City Pages quarter-page. I need to sell what is called "freezer beef." All the cuts you’d get from the butcher, but all of them at once. Most people have never bought beef this way. It needs to be explained in the ad. I don’t really think I want it to have too much concept, this ad will never ever appear in anyone’s book.
My second problem is the idea of grass-fed organic beef. There is absolutely nothing special about this beef. This is just beef as it has always been raised since we domesticated cattle, what, 10,000 years ago. The only reason it is better than everything else on the market is that in the last couple decades we started feeding our cows unhealthy shit like cow brains and keeping them penned up in standing room only feedlots. It’s not any innovative improvement on how beef is raised.
I’m having problems selling what appears to me to be something so stunningly obvious that it hardly needs saying. My only luck comes when I talk about how crap the feedlot process is, but that’s not a good way to sell quality beef.
Here’s my mom’s email she sends to people who request info:
We charge $1.75/# hanging weight for the meat (average comes to $260-300/ quarter depending on the individual critter) and have it processed at Dee Jay's Processing here in Fredericktown, OH. The cost is about $75-85 /qtr depending on how you have it done (888-DJS-MEAT or 740-694-7492). You tell the processor what type of cuts you want, how many to a package, how thick, etc. They walk you through it. These costs are competitive with grain-fed, non-organic, lord-knows-where-it-came-from meat. Our meat is very tasty and tender and lean (thus we think you get more actual meat for your dollar). If you want to place an order either e-mail or call us (740-397-4664) and we will put you on our list.
Here’s what my dad would want in an ad:
That the price is competitive with grain fed beasties.
That they are being raised on a farm which has been organic for over 25 years.
That they are 100% grassfed Angus which means the meat is incredibly lean.
and possibly, That they have more good proteins.
Here’s the poo I’ve excremented on a page so far:
local organic grass-fed Angus beef
sold by the quarter 1.75 per pound
Grass fed beef is different from grain fed. Most of the meat you will find out there is grain fed.
The reason we feed grass is that cows are ruminates, built to eat grass.
Grass fed is the alternative to feedlot beef.
beef raised the old-world way.
without pesticides.
without grain finishing
without overcrowding.
it’s not healthy to feed a cow grain. cows are ruminates, grass eaters.
when you feed grain, you don’t need to provide the land for them to forage on, why not keep them in the barn?
somewhere along the line of raising beef we Americans stopped thinking right. stopped feeding them the foods they needed. start
raised the way nature intended a cow to be raised. On open pasture land, under the sun, and without unnatural foods and chemicals.
ask a kid to draw a cow.
you get a black and white beastie with horns in a field.
cows eat grass. any five year old could tell you that.
most beef farmers today would tell you that a cow ain’t “finished” till it’s
but as farms became run more and more like factories, scaling up in size and eking out profit from every area, certain things were ignored.
Cows are designed to eat grass.
it is a very rare thing when humans improve on mother nature. feedlots to put grain into cows to fatten them up at the end of their life, is not one of those rare times.
we didn’t figure out how to do it better than mother nature.
10,000 years ago cows ate grass.
1,000 years ago cows ate grass.
40 years ago cows ate grass.
Most of the beef you can buy out there is now grain fed. The people responsible for selling this feedlot variety of beef will tell you that it’s fatty marbled-ness makes it taste better.
Living in a feedlot is not healthy.
Eating something your body isn’t designed to eat is not healthy.
If you ask a child to draw a cow he will put the cow in a pasture. Because that’s where cows go. Even he can tell you that a cow eats grass.
That we have to special-raise cows now to be “grass fed” is silly.
Grass fed beef is better than grain fed. Most meat out there is grain fed.
The reason we feed grass is simple, cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
It’s sad that our beef needs so many descriptors, but if your package just says ‘beef’ you can probably count on it being shipped, full of pesticides, and finished on grain.
Organic is natural. Nature has done a good enough job so far, we’ll let her keep going.
Cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
So we feed them grass. The cows are healthier and so is the meat.
Angus is tasty.
Angus is tasty. Grass-fed angus is tasty and healthy and happy. Organic grass fed angus is tasty and heathly and happy and safe.
organic most people know about. free from man made chemicals
Grass fed beef is different from grain fed. Most meat out there is grain fed.
The reason we feed grass is that cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
Grass fed isn’t new and different and trendy, it’s the old and natural way to raise beef. Grain fed is the “new and different” way to raise a cow, and now we’re beginning to see that it doesn’t work so well.
feedlots are stuffy and overcrowded.
pastures are wide and in the open air.
grain is digested too quickly, resulting in physical ailments and oversized fatty muscles.
grass is digested slowly, resulting in even growth, though slower.
grain fed meat is unhealthy to eat. that’s the red meat your doctor warned you about.
grass fed beef is entirely different. it’s lower in fat and calories. extra omega 3s.
grass fed beef does taste different.
it’s the differnece between a body bulider and a hard working man.
It’s sad, but a list of the reasons to eat grass fed beef is really a list of the reasons not to eat grain fed beef.
Grass fed beef are healthier. Grain fed beef have physical problems resulting from their diet. For example, they can have acid build up from digesting the grain too fast.
Grass fed beef are lower in stress. They live in their natural environment, the pasture. Grain fed beef don’t need to forage and so they are kept in feedlots.
Most all the reasons that exist for feed
A grass fed animal is happier. That may sound trite, but it’s true.
They are out running around in the fields rather than cooped up in a barn or feed lot. This does a lot for their psyche.
Natural
Nutritious
Safe
Healthy
Our cows are born and raised
on a generation-spanning family farm. a closed system which uses no pesticides and as little off-farm input as possible. Cows are ruminates, built to consume grass. Grass-fed cows are healthier while living and healthier for you.
Angus is the breed.
Cows are ruminates, built to consume grass.
All cows are built to eat grasses.
Most beef cows are fed grain.
Cows that eat only grass will be healthier.
Compared with grass-fed meat, grain-fed meat contains more total fat, saturated fat, and calories.
Cows that spend their entire lives eating grasses are healthier than those whose diet has been switched to grains.
Here is my small-type explanation of how freezer beef works:
If you’ve never bought beef directly from the farmer, here’s how it works.
The minimum amount we sell is a quarter of a cow. You don’t get to choose which quarter, it’s an average quarter of the available meat on the animal. If you want a half or even a whole, that’s fine too. To hold a quarter of a beef you will need freezer space. The one attached to your refrigerator will not be enough. You will need…
You call us at 740 397 4664 and tell us what amount you’d like. When an entire cow is accounted for, we take the animal in to DeeJay’s to be processed. They weigh the animal. We bill you $1.75 per pound of hanging weight. The average is between $260 and $300 per quarter.
They call you to find out how you would like your meat cut (how thick your steaks, what cuts, etc.) They walk you through this part. They charge you for the cuts separate from what you pay us for the meat itself. The cost is about $80 per quarter, depending on what you have done. They will tell you when the processing will be complete.
You drive to Fredericktown to pick up your beef.
And here is the website explaining grassfed to the uninitiated:
Eat Wild
So there is your assignment from me. Send me an email. Reply in the comments. Make it funny. Make it serious. Make it sell. These ads will be running in the Columbus alt newsweekly, The Other Paper. If I use an idea someone else comes up with, all credit will be yours, and a steak will be brought when I come to visit Chi-town and Murderapolis, sometime in mid-May. Thanks.
posted by Lord of the Barnyard at 6:40 PM
11 Comments:
How about starting with something like this:
"Do you take steroids?
Do you eat human brain?
Do you drink bug spray?
Do you eat twinkies exclusively?
Do you never leave the house?
NO?! Then why would you want to eat beef that does all of those things?!
For a healthy/safe/nutritous alternative to mass produced beef try organic grass fed Angus!"
Then launch into the specifics.
Just an idea from someone with no advertising training whatsoever.
deo volente,
Bradley
"I’m having problems selling what appears to me to be something so stunningly obvious that it hardly needs saying."
Use that as your starting point.
so, am i the person who is looking to buy a quarter of a cow to put in my freezer? or are you talking to a restaurant? but really, maybe i am looking to buy a quarter of a cow. like mittens. i would take the calf with mittens.alive.
ian, i like the thought behind that, but i'd like to get to the point faster. it's kind of arrogant to think that people will read past that, no? or is that interesting enough that most people would read past that?
people, usually a couple with kids to feed, buy the cows by the quarter. they are the ones who normally have a freezer to store food in anyway. and they're the ones who can reasonable eat a quarter in a matter of months.
i'd love to sell to restaurants, but these ads won't be focusing on that.
Organic meat- better taste less guilt
You are what you eat.
A cow that is fed grain is like a human that eats fast food/junk food, faster/cheaper/more convenient but it ruins your body
Better beef means fewer seasonings healthier cooking methods can be used resulting in still delicious meat.
You're selling to a local market right? These people may be more health conscious ethically aware but they are still living in the middle of Ohio surrounded by farms. Don't bullshit them. Don't risk offending them with your intellect
ian's right. you sell cow the old-fashioned way. natural. people THINK they're buying cow in the store that frolick in the grass, not stand in stalls and eat their friend's brains.
Yeah, go with the most basic way to say natural. Maybe show a picture of the stuff in the grocery store. Replace the label with where the cow grassed (i.e. ranged on a 10 foot square peice of land).
or, not to focus on competitors negatives,
go with the simplest way of saying, emancipated cattle. But not so high brow. I'm guessing the kind of person that buys this much meat is a pretty simple person. Tell it like it is. But make it interesting. One line with a bit of bite to it.
I'm not helping, let me think this over a little more.
I love the way you guys talk about the people buying meat. I hope its a advertizin' thing.
No, it's an asshole thing.
I don't see why it's so surprising to talk about the people you're trying to communicate to. Seriously, is that such a profound thought?
It isn't the fact that you are talking about them, its how. Drew is trying to sell beef to people like you! What would you want to read, don't worry about Larry, he eats skunk.
I ate too many brats yesterday, forgive me... I'm an asshole when I get into that pork.
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